Why are you single?
The question that I get asked often. Why are you single?
Because I choose to.
Excuse me?! You choose to?!
Yes, I do. Because I am not settling. And then the people asking me questions just freeze.
What do you mean by ‘settling’?
Look at your relationship for example. I’ve been listening about you being dissatisfied with it for a few years. He is like that, he does that, doesn’t do that, doesn’t respect me…he goes out with his mates instead of spending all the time with me etc. You’ve been in this relationship for a couple of years and most of it you are complaining about. All the time. You see – that’s settling for me. You stick in it just not to be by yourself. This is your choice and I respect it. You have your reasons.
Oh, you are too picky. No one is good enough for you.
Oh, really?! Look at my past relationships. I’ve used men, married men for sex. I was afraid of getting someone close. Afraid of feelings and getting attached. Falling in love. Being loved. I didn’t think I deserved it. I knew what I was doing was not OK but it was what I was capable of at that time.
And then I decided I am not doing it. Not getting involved with the taken men. And I gave it a go. And I got one after another who lied to me about being single and I had to find out my way. But I knew, I was getting the same I was doing before. And I knew that the single denominator in all my relationships with non taken men was I. So I must have been doing something wrong.
I know I built walls around myself for the most of my life. And it was time to destroy them. And I thought OK, I just let to let someone close to me and that’s it.
Oh, could I be more wrong 😀 Sure, I let men close, the wrong kind of men. But I am happy I did as this was a journey and every men was my teacher. And a mirror, reflection of what I was giving out. I could make such an expression no one would dare to approach me. Why? No idea. Well, I thought a man must really have balls to go over this. And yes. The wrong one.
I had a share of ‘wrong ones’. But I know I learned a lot from each of them. And I remember them for the good they brought to my life.
And I remember the article I red some year ago and I couldn’t agree more- the same people that ask the question ‘Why are you single?’ also envy me for all my free time I have, the instant decisions to make something stupid like go to London for a coffee, Paris for a photo trip or just a crazy night out…As if I wouldn’t like someone beside me to share and do all the crazy stuff with.
I noticed lately that things changed. Wherever I go men engage in conversation with me, I get stopped on the street and asked for my number…and I like it as opposed to before when it bothered me. And my friends just don’t get it where this sudden change came from, but they like it to.Lot of fun for all of us.
So now, when I am being asked Why are you single? I just say: I AM OVERQUALIFIED:)
And I plan to live and enjoy life as a single woman till the day the one who will complement me comes around.