I am always there for them. When they feel bad/sad/lonely it is I who they come for consolation, it is my hug they want to make them feel better. And there I am for them.
Then it happens one day that I am totally down, in need of someone just to be by my side. Not asking questions if tears start dropping. You know, just be and maybe hold my hand. That’s all I need. And they are all either unavailable or busy. Makes you think, doesn’t it?
The company of another dear person would help me stop the ugly thoughts in my mind. But being alone they don’t want to go away. They become darker by minutes. And at the end you start feeling petty for yourself, there’s no one there for you, no one loves you and it wouldn’t matter if you died this minute. Probably no one would even notice until next time they’d need you. And if there was a switch to end your life in that moment you’d do it. Life is pointless at that moment anyway.
Ever felt like that?