I remember as if was yesterday though it happened over a decade ago when my mum told me: ‘you just make a baby, I’ll take care of him/her’.. Wow. I didn’t have the wisdom I have now but still i regarded it as selfishness. Though I was pretty crazy I knew if I ever had I child it would be at the time when I’d be mature enough and have the means to provide for child in every possible way.

I met a great man (i realized soon that he was far away from great but still he gave me some great life experiences and learnings) and I got pregnant. I didn’t know and I had a miscarriage. Now I know it was for the best as I was far away from being mature enough to be a mother without ruining the baby for the entire life with my ghosts from the past, fears, convictions… Only now, when I got rid of all that was troubling me I am able to be the kind of mother that every child deserves and cherish him/her with love, understanding and positivism not bitterness, anger, depression…

And then I see friends, random people who had kids and it was the sole meaning of their life and they never felt completed until they had a kid/children…And I see these children growing up lacking love, parents not taking time for them but instead of this giving them whatever they desire, the children with no boundaries, no respect for anybody, selfish, compensating low self esteem and lack of compassion with aggression towards others,…and I am happy. Because I wouldn’t like to have that kind of child, I wouldn’t like for my child to realize in his/her late 20s that’s a total screw up as I did and had to disassemble myself completely and build from scratch…And i realize that most of the parents decided to have children out of selfish reasons, to fill a void in them that was missing but it wasn’t a child or in an attempt to save their relationship.

Yes, humans are really a selfish race.