Self defense

It was last year that I hosted Andy. That’s not his real name but all the other things are real. He was a 23 years old fellow from Missouri. He was already in my town as he booked with me.

He came as I had a friend visiting me. The first thing we both noticed was the look in his eyes. I immediately got the vision of all the news about people snapping in the shopping malls and killing/shooting people. And it gave me chills.

We sat together a bit with my friend. He kept telling us about the ways to hide money from the government, which country the banks are most trustworthy and they don’t report to the local or foreign governments. As if we cared or were merely interested…So we excused ourselves and left and he was supposed to go out on a date with a girl from Tinder.

On my return home he was at home. So he joined me and we started talking. I prepared dinner and invited him to join me and we opened a bottle of wine as he expressed a wish to have some.

We started talking. He seemed a little high. Still with really glassy eyes. He opened up. I learned that he is a descendant of the Pilgrims that came to America on Mayflower. And of course his family regarded themselves as something more. They are part of 1%. When I saw his ID I learned his family is one of the most powerful in the USA, senators, highest ranking Army and Navy officials, businessmen…. And of course money is the sole driver of the family. When he was growing up his family was so into making money and being important that he was deprived of the basic need the child has: LOVE from his parents. The most awful thing that happened to him (the one he told me about) was when he was in surgery and he woke up in the middle of it as the anesthetic wore off he started screaming from pain and his mother was just standing there like nothing.

He hates her. I could tell from the way he spoke of her. And he resents her a lot. Therefore he’s full of rage. Thus the look in his eyes. And his father. Another person that screw him up. All he cares is money. And he keeps calling him every day telling him he didn’t make enough money that day.

No wonder Andy decided he didn’t want to have anything to do with his family any more. He was lucky as his grandparents sold some land and gave the money to grandchildren. So he decided to leave and wanted to get another citizenship. He offered me 7,000$ to marry him so he could get the citizenship. To the date I remain unmarried;)

We kept talking for hours. Although he was supposed to go on a Tinder date he repeated several times he enjoys it much more staying in, talking to me and he’s like to hug. After several repetitions I realized he really wanted a hug and after all that he’s told me I figured he needed it (did I mention his girlfriend broke up with him that day?). So I offered him a hug. OMG. He was petite but his grip was so strong. And he just wouldn’t let go. And so he wanted to hug after every story he told me.

And boy the stories he kept telling….As he grew up it was normal for him and his pears to get in trouble with no consequences as his family would take care of him. To them it was fun if they went hunting and shoot a person ‘by accident’. If someone was in their way they’d ‘take care’ of that person. I don’t know if this things really happened or it was just a product of his imagination but just the idea of a person having that point of view is scary.

The more he told me less comfortable I felt. My friend that was at my place when he arrived texted me ‘Still alive? Need back up?’. She made me laugh.

Then he showed me his keys and everything he carried with him; 2 wallets – one with money and documents the other with limited amount of money in case he’d get mugged and they’d demand his wallet, a Swiss pocket knife for self defense, some sharp thing he can use to cut someone’s throat in case they attack him and brass knuckles. I asked him why he feels so threatened and in need to carry so many stuff and he said where he came from people would always get attacked and it was normal to carry guns with them for protection. To me that was scary. And Andy was really paranoid. Even though he stayed in the same city for several days he’d change his housing every 2 days.

As it was past midnight and it was a bit much to digest all the stuff I was honestly considering to go spend the night at my friends. But I decided to do the dishes first. He wanted to help. And therefore he stood in my personal space, so close to me I could feel his breath. And he said he noticed there was no lock on his room door. Sure, I keep a no lock policy. And he said if I wanted I can come to his bed and we can snuggle all night long. WTF?!?! And he offered to teach me self defense…I said there’s no need as nothing’s going to happen to me.

As I was doing the dishes he said he looks at every object in the kitchen as a weapon. And I said regardless of this there’s only 1 weapon in the kitchen: HIS MIND. He was a bit shocked. He couldn’t get it. I said it’s something he could reflect upon and if he wanted we could give some time the day after with no wine consumption.

As I went to my room i took the key and locked myself in.

The next day I was in meetings all day and he went on a Tinder date that evening. We came home together. He immediately said he’d told me too much the night before. I just said: You had to get it out of your system and you felt safe with me.

I asked about his date…He paused. OK, something happened…He went…Uuummmm, is it normal for unmarried women to have children? 

YES. Is it not normal where you come from?

For black women only.

The day after he was supposed to leave. I arranged a lot of meetings so I wouldn’t be home when he left. But he decided he’d wait for me and get the last hug 😀

It felt light when he left. It was a peculiar experience. But a hell of a story.

One of the things he told me about is how the American presidents are chosen. And I asked who was chosen to be the next one. Hilary Clinton. And that’s one more reason why I hope Bernie Sanders  will make it to be the next president to show that PEOPLE MATTER.